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A collection of quotes from the television series Agent Carter.
AgentCarter2HrPromo

Season One

Episode 1.01: Now is Not the End

"Kinda thing might really catch a man's eye...say, on a date?"
"Well don't hold your breath. Especially with tuberculosis."
"You know there's a difference between being an independent woman, and a spinster."
"Is it the shoes? Clock out, pull the curtains, and sleep. Peggy's orders."
Colleen O'Brien and Peggy Carter[src]
"Agent Carter, we just pulled a red ball out of DC. All hands on deck. Meaning cover the phones."
"Rose, redirect all calls to the briefing room. Covered. Shall we?"
Roger Dooley and Peggy Carter[src]
"I knew Howard Stark during the war; his help was invaluable. He may be a great many things, but he's not a traitor."
Peggy Carter[src]
"I saw him once at a U.S.O. shown in Passaic. You could eat him with a spoon."
"Yes, I understand he was quite something."
"Everything all right, English?"
"Fine actually, if you don't count work."
"Boys at the phone company giving you a hard time?"
"No more than usual, it's just... During the war, I had a sense of purpose. Responsibility. Now I connect the calls, but I never get a chance to make them."
Angie Martinelli and Peggy Carter[src]
"Really?"
"I'm just considering all the angles. It seems you have a lot of them."
"Now that's the Peggy Carter I need."
"For what?"
"To clear my name."
"You can't be serious."
"I'll try not to be. But sometimes it just slips out."
Howard Stark and Peggy Carter[src]
"When you're not humiliating him, that fellow up there is my butler, Edwin Jarvis. He will help you any way he can."
Howard Stark[src]
"What now, Miss Carter?"
"Now, I go to work."
Edwin Jarvis and Peggy Carter[src]
"You were trying to do something good, and I believe you accomplished it."
"But was it worth it?"
Edwin Jarvis and Peggy Carter[src]
"Keep your eyes open."
"But I'm coming with you."
"Mr. Jarvis... That cook with the spoons, Was she large woman? Violent?"
"Well, no she was quite diminutive actually, but she had a vicious tongue and extremely long... Fingernails."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"Where are you?"
"Just keep driving!"
"Could you be slightly more specific?"
"No!"(Carter leaps atop the car)
"Miss Carter!"
"Go, go!"
"Don't you want to get in?!"
Edwin Jarvis and Peggy Carter[src]
"I understand you're not happy with you're meal."
"You work here?"
"Unfortunately, no. (Presses a fork into his side) Just to be clear, this is pressed into your brachial artery, it may be dull but I'm determined. Keep smiling. Once you start to bleed, you'll lose conciousness in fifteen seconds, you'll die in ninety unless someone comes to your aid. Now given your recent behavior, how likely do you think that is to happen? To prevent this not entirely unfortunate event from occurring, I suggest you find another place to eat. Do we understand each other?"
"Yeah!"
"Good. Oh, And one more thing... tip generously."
Peggy Carter and Madison Avenue Guy[src]
"I figured you'd never have a problem finding a man."
"The trick is finding the right one."
Howard Stark and Peggy Carter[src]

Episode 1.02: Bridge and Tunnel

"So, who did this to you? Was it Leet Brannis? We know he paid you off to use the truck."
"You're in deep water. I'd take that life preserver, if I was you."
"You wouldn't believe me, if I told you."
"We'll keep an open mind."
Roger Dooley, Jack Thompson and Sheldon McFee[src]
"You're quite good at that."
"Yes, Mr. Stark's zippers are under considerable strain."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"So, I've got two foreign agents with no voice boxes fighting over a milk truck full of experimental implosives."
"Just another day at the office."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"I don't have long so listen very carefully. I need you to dispose of Howard's car."
"I beg your pardon?"
"The SSR are looking into Roxxon at this very moment. That car sustained damage at the site, and it's likely to be teeming with vita radiation. Make it disappear."
"Very well. Let's see, the linens come out of the wash in thirty minutes..."
"Now."
"Fine. I shall forego the linens."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"I told you I don't need your help."
"An ideal butler provides service without being asked."
"Oh! Put it back. I need to drive this thing out of here."
"...Won't be a moment."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"You're very fortunate that I ignored your instructions."
"(Sarcastic) Oh, you're so right. How I managed to stay alive before I met you, I have no idea."
"I can't tell if you're being arrogant... or ignorant."
"Both, I imagine."
"Your line of work requires support. People who care about your wellbeing, who will be there to stitch up your wounds."
"If I allow people to get close to me, I'm putting them in danger."
"So your solution is to remove yourself from the world you wish to protect. Where's the sense in that? There is not a man or woman, no matter how fit he or she may be, who is capable of carrying the entire world on their shoulders."
"Steve was."
"From what Mr. Stark has told me, Captain Rogers relied heavily on you. For courage, strategy, and moral guidance. You were his support. Your desire to help others is noble, but I doubt you'll find much success unless you allow others to help you."
Edwin Jarvis and Peggy Carter[src]
"(Showing Carter around the apartment building) Hi, Mary! That's Mary. She's a legal secretary at Goodman, Kirksberg and Holloway. Evelyn. Evelyn is a lounge singer at a club in midtown. Hi, Sarah! That's Sarah. She's a slut."
Angie Martinelli[src]
"How long do you see yourself working for the telephone company?"
"Only until I'm married, Miss Fry."
"In a city filled with temptation, debauchery, and mischief, the Griffith Hotel is a haven for proper young ladies. Our code of conduct is indisputable. Attire should be demure and elegant. Curfew is 10:00. No drinking. No men above the first floor. No exceptions. Is that clear, Miss Carter?"
"Perfectly."
Miriam Fry and Peggy Carter[src]

Episode 1.03: Time and Tide

"I may not always be truthful with Anna, but I am always honest."
Edwin Jarvis[src]
"No girl is gonna trade in a red, white, and blue shield for an aluminum crutch."
Ray Krzeminski[src]
"I got a bottle of schnapps and half a rhubarb pie; let's see which one makes us sick first."
Angie Martinelli[src]
"A lot of stuff gets stolen from Howard Stark; cars bombs, death rays..."
"Actually the death ray's accounted for. It's in Nevada, I believe."
Jack Thompson and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"I haven't been in the back of a car in years."
Edwin Jarvis[src]
"What brings you here?"
"My landlady gave me an idea."
"Oh splendid, now if we can get an opinion from your butcher."
Edwin Jarvis and Peggy Carter[src]

Episode 1.04: The Blitzkrieg Button

"Sorry, you're counting the ransom in front of me."
"Our boss is a very precise man."
"Your manners never cease to disappoint."
Edwin Jarvis and smuggler[src]
"Get in."
"What? I hate small spaces. What if the chain snaps and I fall to my death?"
"Don't worry. I'll never reveal that Howard Stark's dead body is lying rotting in the bottom of a dumbwaiter shaft."
Peggy Carter and Howard Stark[src]
"You don't have to get changed with the door closed. I thought we were friends."
Howard Stark[src]
"All of my inventions are in your lab."
"Then why is your mustache so sad?"
Howard Stark and Peggy Carter[src]
"They are measuring me for my new necktie. Please excuse the gallows humor."
―Mueller[src]
"What the hell do you think of me?"
"I think you're a man out for his own gain no matter who you're charging. You are constantly finding holes to slither your way into in the hope of finding loose change, only to cry when you're bitten by another snake. You're a man who says "I love you" whilst looking over a woman's shoulder into the mirror. Steve Rogers dedicated his mind, his body, his life to the SSR and to this country, not to your bank account. I made the same pledge, but I'm not as good as Steve was. I forgot my pledge running around for you like a corporate spy. So thank you, Howard, for reminding me who Steve was and what I aspire to be. For all I know, you did steal your inventions."
Howard Stark and Peggy Carter[src]

Episode 1.05: The Iron Ceiling

"If you want to get to know New York--if you want to get know any place, you have to start with the people first."
"I talk to people."
"Real people with real jobs. Not the, uh, phony, superficial ones that pervade the city. Uh, you should start with Brooklyn first."
"But I-I'd rather see the Statue of Liberty."
"Oh, she'll still be there. But what she represents, the spirit of Lady Liberty, is founded is found in its people."
"Wow. You sounded like Captain America just now."
"That's not a bad thing."
Peggy Carter and Dottie Underwood[src]
"What would Cap say if I left his best girl behind?"
"He'd say "Do as Peggy says"."
Dum Dum Dugan and Peggy Carter[src]
"He can be thoughtless. Inconsiderate. Vain. Childish. Unreliable. Arrogant."
"You flatter him."
Edwin Jarvis and Peggy Carter[src]
"The Germans are geniuses when it comes to beer. But, no one knows bourbon like the US of A."
Dum Dum Dugan[src]
"You guys are the Howling Commandos!"
"I hate that name."
"I came up with that name."
"That you did."
―Agent Martinez, Happy Sam Sawyer, and Junior Juniper[src]
"Does anyone else feel a chill going up their knickers?"
"I would if I wore knickers."
Peggy Carter and Junior Juniper[src]
"Wahoo!"
"Stop wahooing and help!"
Dum Dum Dugan and Peggy Carter[src]
"Not bad. For a girl."
"I hate you all."
Ivchenko and Peggy Carter[src]
"You sure you wanna get on that plane? Commandos could always use another good fighter. We just need to come up with a nickname for you."
"Tempting, but I think it's time I put my days on the front lines behind me. Someone needs to mind the wheel back in the States. And I suppose someone needs to convince the SSR of Howard's innocence, wanker or not. I'll miss you."
"Miss you, too, Peg. Wait a second. Miss you... Miss Union Jack! Whaddya think, fellas? Huh?"
"Never speak again."
"Okay."
Dum Dum Dugan and Peggy Carter[src]

Episode 1.06: A Sin to Err

"She's a cute broad. When she's not punching me in the face. Who is she?"
"Not who I thought she was."
Sheldon McFee and Daniel Sousa[src]
"How could he possibly meet this many women?"
"The Academy Awards is a very busy time... What are you doing?"
"A large portion of the women on this list are well known actresses, models and socialites. Publicly established for several years. They can be disregarded."
"Well, I wouldn't dismiss her."
"You think Ginger Rogers is a Russian assassin?"
"You should have seen her eyes when I escorted her from Mr. Stark's villa. The darkest gates to the abyss."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"Peggy. Don't run. If you run, I'll know it's true."
"I'm sorry, Daniel."
Daniel Sousa and Peggy Carter[src]
"You don't look like federal agents."
"We're with the Strategic Scientific Reserve."
"Well, I'm with the Queens County 4H. Take it down the hall."
Angie Martinelli and Daniel Sousa[src]
"I think it had something to do with her sick grandmother."
"Oh, gee. Um..."
"Please don't... do that."
"She's got a grandmother who's doing poorly. And whenever I think about it, I think of my grandmother who's so supportive of my acting career. I performed for her, and she said, you belong on stage, angel. Even though I'm living hand to mouth, I just, uh..."
"Please stop."
"Could you do something here?"
"No. Actors wear their emotions close to the surface. I could no more stop her than I could Laurence Olivier."
"What's your grandmother's name?"
"Gam Gam."
"Uh, we should go... talk to some more of the neighbors. C'mon, Thompson."
"There, there."
Angie Martinelli, Daniel Sousa, Jack Thompson and Miriam Fry[src]

Episode 1.07: Snafu

"Mr. Jarvis, how would you feel if we smashed that mirror with this table?"
"I would feel splendid about it."
"Alright, we pick it up, and then on the count of three--"
"Battering ram. Ready? One... Two... Wait. What if there are people behind this mirror that we're breaking?"
"Then they may get hurt, there'll be a spray of glass."
"I see. One... Two... Wait! What if those hypothetical people behind the mirror have guns?"
"Then we may get hurt, there'll be a spray of bullets."
"I see. One... Two... Three!(The two break the mirror) No people. Everybody wins."
"I've just thought of something."
"We're still attached to a table."
"We are still attached to a table."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"Promise me you'll get the son of a bitch who did this. Say it!"
"We'll catch him."
"Atta girl."
Roger Dooley and Peggy Carter[src]
"To you, I’m a stray kitten left on your doorstep to be protected. The secretary turned damsel in distress. The girl on the pedestal, transformed into some daft whore."
Peggy Carter[src]
"And I suppose the confession portrays me as what? A patsy? A doe-eyed idiot succumbed to the charms of America’s mustachioed Casanova?"
Peggy Carter[src]
"I conducted my own investigation because no one listens to me. I got away with it because no one looks at me. Because unless I have your reports, your coffee, or your lunch, I am invisible."
Peggy Carter[src]

Episode 1.08: Valediction

"How's that look?"
"Like a nest of spiders with very short legs."
"That's good enough."
Howard Stark and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"Howard... I know you loved him. I loved him, too. But this won't bring him back. Howard, you are the one person on this earth who believes in me. I cannot lose you. Steve is gone. We have to move on--all of us. As impossible as that may sound, we have to let him go."
Peggy Carter[src]
"You were gonna shoot me out of the sky?"
"Well, I thought that was what you would have wanted."
"No! No, it's not. And for future reference, under no circumstance would I want anyone to shoot or otherwise hurt me. You got that?"
"Your point is amply made, sir."
Howard Stark and Edwin Jarvis[src]
"How refreshing to meet someone who appreciates the finer things."
"I appreciate the finer things. I just don't want to know what's happened in and on the fine things."
Edwin Jarvis and Peggy Carter[src]

Season Two

Episode 2.07: Monsters

"I've pulled out my own teeth...my own nails...my own hair. I've burned my own flesh with a blowtorch. I'm no Nazi harlot. And you are wasting my time."
Dottie Underwood to Vernon Masters[src]
"Do you plan on baking biscuits along the way?"
"No, But this may just save our bacon."
"Good, I quite fancy my bacon."
Peggy Carter and Edwin Jarvis[src]

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