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Rocket Profile(1)

A collection of quotes of Rocket Raccoon, a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Movies

Guardians of the Galaxy

Spoken by Rocket Raccoon

"Xandarians. What a bunch of losers! Always trying to get from something stupid to nothing at all."
―Rocket Raccoon[src]
"I live for the simple things... like how much this is gonna hurt."
―Rocket Raccoon[src]
"I guess most of Nova Corps wanna uphold the laws, but these ones here, they're corrupt and cruel."
―Rocket Raccoon[src]
"I guess most of the Nova Corps are out to protect the greater good, but here, they're corrupt and cruel. But hey, that's not my problem. I ain't gonna be here long. I've been escaped 22 prisons. This one is no different. You're lucky the broad showed up, cause otherwise me and Groot here woulda' collected our bounty."
―Rocket Raccoon to the guards[src]
"Ain't no thing like me 'cept me!"
―Rocket Racoon[src]
"Pretty high and mighty coming from the lackey of a genocidal maniac. Yeah, I know who you are. Anyone who's anyone knows who you are."
―Rocket Raccoon[src]
"Let's make something clear. This one here's our booty! You wanna get to him, you go through us! Or more accurately... We go through you!!"
―Rocket Racoon to the prisoners[src]
"You got issues, Quill."
―Rocket Raccoon[src]
"Aw, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway..."
―Rocket Raccoon[src]

Spoken about Rocket Raccoon

"Subject 89P13. Calls itself "Rocket." The result of illegal genetic and cybernetic experiments on a lower life form."
Rhomann Dey to Garthan Saal[src]

Dialogue

"I am Groot."
"So what, 'It's better than eleven percent!' What the hell does that have to do with anything?"
"Thank you, Groot, thank you. See. Groot's the only one of you who has a clue."
Groot, Rocket Raccoon, and Star-Lord[src]
"There's one more thing we need to complete the plan. That guy's eye..."
"No! No, we don't. No, we don't need that guy's eye."
"No, seriously, I need it! It's important to me."
―Rocket and Star-Lord[src]
"Rocket!"
"Hold on, Saal, just--"
"Aargh!!!"
―Rocket and Garthan Saal seconds before his death[src]
"No, Groot... don't do this, you'll die... why are you doing this?"
"WE are Groot."
―Rocket and Groot.[src]
"Your criminal records have also been expunged. However, I have to warn you against breaking any laws in the future."
"Question. What if I see something that I wanna take and it belongs to someone else?"
"Then you will be arrested."
"But what if I want it more than the person who has it?"
"Still illegal."
"That doesn't follow. No, I want it more, sir. Do you understand me? What are you laughing at? What? I can't have a discussion with this gentleman?"
―Rocket and Rhomann Dey. [src]

Promotional

"Rocket. Wanted on over 50 charges of vehicular theft and escape from lockup."
Rhomann Dey to Garthan Saal[src]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Spoken by Rocket Raccoon

"Ya'know, they told me you people were conceded douchebags, but that isn't true at all."
―Rocket Raccoon to the Sovereign[src]
"You maniac! The whole ship is gonna blow!"
Rocket Raccoon to Yondu Udonta[src]
"Sorry, I can only lose one friend today."
Rocket Raccoon to Gamora[src]
"What was your first choice, Scrotumhead?"
―Rocket Raccoon[src]


Spoken about Rocket Raccoon

"Hey, it'll be just a couple of days. We'll be back before Rocket is finished fixing the ship."
Gamora to Groot[src]

Dialogue

"You know why I did it, Star-Munch? Hmm?"
"I'm not gonna answer to "Star-Munch.""
"I did it because I wanted to! What are we even talking about this for? We just had a little man save us by blowing up fifty ships!"
"How little?"
"Well, kinda like this?"
"A little one-inch man saved us?"
"Well, if he got closer, I'm sure he'd be much larger."
"Yeah, that's how eyesight works, you stupid raccoon."
"DON'T CALL ME A RACCOON!"
"I'm sorry, I took it too far. I meant "trash panda.""
"Is that better?"
"I don't know."
"It's worse. It's so much worse."
―Rocket, Star-Lord, Drax the Destroyer and Gamora[src]
"Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button."
"Nobody has any tape!"
"Not a single person has tape?!
"You have an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!"
"I have to do everything!"
―Rocket Raccoon and Star-Lord[src]
"We'll deliver you to the Kree in the morning! Neither one of you will laugh much longer after that!"
"Ok Taserface! Hey, tell the other guys we said hi, Taserface!"
Taserface and Rocket Raccoon[src]
"You're the one who killed those men by leading them down the wrong path because you're weak and stupid! It's time for the Ravagers to rise once again to glory with a new captain: Taserface!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, your name is, it's Taserface?"
"That's right."
"Do you shoot Tasers out of your face?"
"It's metaphorical!"
"For what?"
"For...It is a name what strikes fear into the hearts of anyone who hears it!"
"Yeah...Ok, whatever you say."
"You shut up, your next! Udonta, I've waited a long time for this... What?"
"Sorry, I'm so sorry, I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror and in all seriousness to yourself saying 'You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface!'. That's how I hear you in my head! What was your second choice? Scrotumhead?"
"New plan! We're killing you first!"
"Well, dying is certainly better than living an entire life as a moronic shithead who thinks Taserface is a cool name."
"That's enough killing for today!"
Taserface, Rocket Raccoon and Nebula[src]


"So we're saving the galaxy again?"
"Yup."
"Awesome! We're really gonna be able to jack up our price if we're two-time galaxy savers."
―Rocket Raccoon and Star-Lord[src]
""I know everything about you. I know you play like you're the meanest in the heart but actually you're the most scared of all."
"Shut-up!"
"I know you steal batteries you don't need and you push away anyone who's wiling to put up with you because just a little bit of love reminds you of how big and empty that hole inside you actually is."
"I said shut-up!"
"I know them scientist what made you never gave a rats ass about you."
"I'm serious dude!"
"Just like my own damn parents who sold me, their own little baby to slavery. I know who you are boy, because you're me."
"What kind of a pair are we?"
"The kind that's about to fight a planet I reckon."
"Alright, okay, good that's...wait, fight a what?"
Yondu Udonta and Rocket Raccoon[src]
"I am Groot."
"One minute you think someone has a weird shaped head, the next minute just because you realize part of that head is a hat. That's why you don't like hats?""
Groot and Rocket Raccoon[src]
""Alright, first you flick this switch, then this one, that activates it. Then you press this button, which will give you five minutes to get out of there. Now, whatever you do don't push this button, because that will set off the bomb immediately and we will all then be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said."
"I am Groot. I am Groot."
"That's right."
"I am Groot."
"NO! That's the button that will kill everyone. Try again."
"I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot."
"NO! That's exactly what you just said! How's that even possible? Which button is the button you're supposed to push? Point to it. NO!"
"Hey, your making him nervous!"
"Shut up and give me some tape! Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button."
"I don't have any tape, let me check! Yo Yondu, do you have any tape? Gamora, do you have any tape? Hey, ahh, never mind! Drax, do you have any tape? Yeah, Scotch Tape would work! Then why would you ask me if scotch tape would work if you didn't have any? Nobody has any tape!"
"Not a single person has tape?!"
"Nope!"
"Did you ask Nebula?"
"...Yes!"
"Are you sure?"
"Well I asked Yondu and she was sitting right next to him!"
"I knew you were lying! You have priceless batteries and an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!"
"That's exactly the point! I have to do everything!"
"You are wasting a lot of time here!"
"We're all gonna die..."
Rocket Raccoon, Groot and Star-Lord[src]
"Show time, A-holes! it will be here any minute."
"And it will be its last."
"I thought your thing was a sword?"
"We've been hired to stop an inter-dimensional beast from feeding on those batteries and I'm going to stop it with a sword?"
"It's just... swords were your thing and guns were mine, but... I guess we're both doing guns now. I just didn't know that."
"Drax, why aren't you wearing one of Rocket's Aero-Rigs?"
"It hurts."
"Hurts?"
"I have sensitive nipples."
"Wa-ha-ha-ha! My nipples hurt! Oh, goodness me!"
"What about him, what's he doing?"
"I'm finishing this so we can listen to tunes while we work."
"How is that important?"
"Blame Quill, he's the one who loves music so much!"
"No, I actually agree with Drax on this, that's hardly important right now."
"Oh, ok, sure Quill"
"No, seriously, I side with Drax."
"I understand that, your being very serious right now."
"I can clearly see you winking!"
"Dam, I'm using my left eye?"
"I am Groot."
"They were not looking at you funny. Oh, well that's intense."
"Groot!"
"Groot, get out of the way your going to get hurt! Oh, hi!"
"No, no! Spit it out! Come on! That's disgusting!"
"The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside! I must cut through it from the inside."
"What? No, Drax! Drax!"
"What's he doing?!"
"He said that the skin is to thick to be pierced on the outside so..."
"That doesn't make any sense!"
"I tried telling him that!"
"Skin has the same level of thickness on the inside as it is on the outside!"
"I realize that!"
"There's a cut on its neck! Rocket, get it to look up!".
"Alright, you giant sea monkey, up here! Whoa, watch it Quill!"
"Yes! I have single-handily vanquished the beast! What?"
Guardians of the Galaxy[src]
"The metal's to thick! For the bomb to work, we'll need to place it on Ego's core. And our fat butts aren't going to fit in those tiny holes!"
"Well..."
"That's a terrible idea."
"Which is the only kind of idea we have left."
"Unbelevable. "Rocket, do this, Rocket do that"."
"What a day."
Rocket Raccoon and Star-Lord[src]