"I guess most of the Nova Corps are out to protect the greater good, but here, they're corrupt and cruel. But hey, that's not my problem. I ain't gonna be here long. I've been escaped 22 prisons. This one is no different. You're lucky the broad showed up, cause otherwise me and Groot here woulda' collected our bounty."
"Your criminal records have also been expunged. However, I have to warn you against breaking any laws in the future." "Question. What if I see something that I wanna take and it belongs to someone else?" "Then you will be arrested." "But what if I want it more than the person who has it?" "Still illegal." "That doesn't follow. No, I want it more, sir. Do you understand me? What are you laughing at? What? I can't have a discussion with this gentleman?"
"You know why I did it, Star-Munch? Hmm?" "I'm not gonna answer to "Star-Munch."" "I did it because I wanted to! What are we even talking about this for? We just had a little man save us by blowing up fifty ships!" "How little?" "Well, kinda like this?" "A little one-inch man saved us?" "Well, if he got closer, I'm sure he'd be much larger." "Yeah, that's how eyesight works, you stupid raccoon." "DON'T CALL ME A RACCOON!" "I'm sorry, I took it too far. I meant "trash panda."" "Is that better?" "I don't know." "It's worse. It's so much worse."
"Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button." "Nobody has any tape!" "Not a single person has tape?! "You have an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!" "I have to do everything!"
"You're the one who killed those men by leading them down the wrong path because you're weak and stupid! It's time for the Ravagers to rise once again to glory with a new captain: Taserface!" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, your name is, it's Taserface?" "That's right." "Do you shoot Tasers out of your face?" "It's metaphorical!" "For what?" "For...It is a name what strikes fear into the hearts of anyone who hears it!" "Yeah...Ok, whatever you say." "You shut up, your next! Udonta, I've waited a long time for this... What?" "Sorry, I'm so sorry, I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror and in all seriousness to yourself saying 'You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface!'. That's how I hear you in my head! What was your second choice? Scrotumhead?" "New plan! We're killing you first!" "Well, dying is certainly better than living an entire life as a moronic shithead who thinks Taserface is a cool name." "That's enough killing for today!"
"So we're saving the galaxy again?" "Yup." "Awesome! We're really gonna be able to jack up our price if we're two-time galaxy savers." "I seriously can’t believe that is where your mind goes." "It was just a random thought, man! I thought we were friends! Of course I care about the planets, and the buildings, and all of the animals on the planets." "And the people." "Meh."
""I know everything about you. I know you play like you're the meanest in the heart but actually you're the most scared of all." "Shut-up!" "I know you steal batteries you don't need and you push away anyone who's wiling to put up with you because just a little bit of love reminds you of how big and empty that hole inside you actually is." "I said shut-up!" "I know them scientist what made you never gave a rats ass about you." "I'm serious dude!" "Just like my own damn parents who sold me, their own little baby to slavery. I know who you are boy, because you're me." "What kind of a pair are we?" "The kind that's about to fight a planet I reckon." "Alright, okay, good that's...wait, fight a what?"
""Alright, first you flick this switch, then this one, that activates it. Then you press this button, which will give you five minutes to get out of there. Now, whatever you do don't push this button, because that will set off the bomb immediately and we will all then be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said." "I am Groot. I am Groot." "That's right." "I am Groot." "NO! That's the button that will kill everyone. Try again." "I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot." "NO! That's exactly what you just said! How's that even possible? Which button is the button you're supposed to push? Point to it. NO!" "Hey, your making him nervous!" "Shut up and give me some tape! Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button." "I don't have any tape, let me check! Yo Yondu, do you have any tape? Gamora, do you have any tape? Hey, ahh, never mind! Drax, do you have any tape? Yeah, Scotch Tape would work! Then why would you ask me if scotch tape would work if you didn't have any? Nobody has any tape!" "Not a single person has tape?!" "Nope!" "Did you ask Nebula?" "...Yes!" "Are you sure?" "Well I asked Yondu and she was sitting right next to him!" "I knew you were lying!" "You have priceless batteries and an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!" "That's exactly the point! I have to do everything!" "You are wasting a lot of time here!" "We're all gonna die..."
"Show time, A-holes! it will be here any minute." "And it will be its last." "I thought your thing was a sword?" "We've been hired to stop an inter-dimensional beast from feeding on those batteries and I'm going to stop it with a sword?" "It's just... swords were your thing and guns were mine, but... I guess we're both doing guns now. I just didn't know that." "Drax, why aren't you wearing one of Rocket'sAero-Rigs?" "It hurts." "Hurts?" "I have sensitive nipples." "Wa-ha-ha-ha! My nipples hurt! Oh, goodness me!" "What about him, what's he doing?" "I'm finishing this so we can listen to tunes while we work." "How is that important?" "Blame Quill, he's the one who loves music so much!" "No, I actually agree with Drax on this, that's hardly important right now." "Oh, ok, sure Quill" "No, seriously, I side with Drax." "I understand that, your being very serious right now." "I can clearly see you winking!" "Dam, I'm using my left eye?" "I am Groot." "They were not looking at you funny. Oh, well that's intense." "Groot!" "Groot, get out of the way your going to get hurt! Oh, hi!" "No, no! Spit it out! Come on! That's disgusting!" "The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside! I must cut through it from the inside." "What? No, Drax! Drax!" "What's he doing?!" "He said that the skin is to thick to be pierced on the outside so..." "That doesn't make any sense!" "I tried telling him that!" "Skin has the same level of thickness on the inside as it is on the outside!" "I realize that!" "There's a cut on its neck! Rocket, get it to look up!". "Alright, you giant sea monkey, up here! Whoa, watch it Quill!" "Yes! I have single-handily vanquished the beast! What?"
"The metal's to thick! For the bomb to work, we'll need to place it on Ego's core. And our fat butts aren't going to fit in those tiny holes!" "Well..." "That's a terrible idea." "Which is the only kind of idea we have left." "Unbelevable. "Rocket, do this, Rocket do that"." "What a day."
"Out of the way, dumber, smaller Groot!" "I told you something didn’t feel right!" "‘I told you so.’ That’s really what I need right now." "I came back, didn’t I?" "Because there’s an unspoken thing." "There is no unspoken thing." "What are you doing? You could have killed us all crashing in here like that!" "Uh, ‘Thank you, Rocket’?" "We had it under control." "We did not. That is only an extension of his true self. He will be back soon." "What’s Smurfette doing here!?" "Back rubs, dishes, killing gods, whatever I need to do to get a damn ride home." "She tried to murder me!" "I saved you, you stupid fox." "He’s not a fox." "I am Groot." "I’m not a raboon either!" "I am Groot." "‘Raccoon,’ whatever!" "How do we kill a Celestial?" "There’s the centre to him - his brain, his soul, whatever it is, in some sort of shell..." "It’s in the caverns below the surface." "Yondu?" "If he’s got that fin back, I am so screwed."