"I am Groot." "Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?" "Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot," exclusively in that order." "Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud."
"She betrayed Ronan, he's coming for her. That's when you..." "...Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?" "No, that's the symbol for slicing his throat." "I would not slice his throat, I would cut his head clean off."
"Here you go." "Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things." What?" "No, I thought it'd be funny! Was it funny? No, wait, what'd he look like hopping around?" "I had to transfer him 30,000 units!""
"I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance." "Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is." "...Who put the sticks up their butts?"
"There are two types of beings in the universe. Those who dance, and those who do not." "I get it, yes. I'm a dancer, Gamora is not." "You just need to find a woman who is pathetic, like you." "Thanks, buddy."
"Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button." "Nobody has any tape!" "Not a single person has tape?! "You have an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!" "I have to do everything!"
"Show time, a-holes! it will be here any minute." "And it will be its last." "I thought your thing was a sword?" "We've been hired to stop an inter-dimensional beast from feeding on those batteries and I'm going to stop it with a sword?" "It's just... swords were your thing and guns were mine, but... I guess we're both doing guns now. I just didn't know that."
"I'm finishing this so we can listen to tunes while we work." "How is that important?" "Blame Quill, he's the one who loves music so much!" "No, I actually agree with Drax on this, that's hardly important right now." "Oh, ok, sure Quill" "No, seriously, I side with Drax." "I understand that, your being very serious right now." "I can clearly see you winking!" "Dam, I'm using my left eye?"
"What's he doing?!" "He said that the skin is to thick to be pierced on the outside so..." "That doesn't make any sense!" "I tried telling him that!" "Skin has the same level of thickness on the inside as it is on the outside!" "I realize that!"
"Give me a break! After all this time, and he just expects to be my Dad all of the sudden!" "I hear you." "I mean, this could be a trap - the Kree purists, the Ravagers, now the Sovereign - they all want us dead." "I know, but..." "But what?" "What was that story you told me about Zardu Hasselfrau?" "Who?" "The wonderful television-singer man. He had a magic boat." "David Hasselhoff?" "Right." "He had a talking car, not a magic..." "Why did it talk again?" "Just to be a good friend, I guess." "And as a child you carried his picture in your pocket, and you told the other children he was your father, but he was out of town..." "Shooting Knight Rider or touring with his band in Germany. Why are you bringing this up now? I was drunk when I told you that." "I love that story." "I don’t. It’s just sad! I was so sad because I’d see the other kids off playing catch with their dads, and I wanted that, more than anything in the world." "My point is, maybe this man is your Hasselhoff. I know it’s a long shot. But I lost my father as a child. I’d give anything...If he ends up being evil, we’ll just kill him."
"You’re leaving me with that fox?!" "He’s not a fox. Shoot her if she does anything suspicious. Or if you feel like it. It will just be a couple days. We’ll be back before Rocket’s finished fixing the ship." "What about your spool of songs?" "I have clones." "What if the Sovereign come?" "There’s no way for them to know they’re here." "I am uncertain about parting ways." "You’re like an old woman." "Because I am wise?" "Hope daddy isn’t as big of a dick as you, orphan boy." "So what’s your goal here? To get everyone to hate you? ‘Cause it’s working."
"I created what I imagined biological life to be like. Down to the most minute detail. " "Did you make a penis?" "Dude!" "What is wrong with you?" "If he's a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her." "I don't need to hear how my parents..." "Why? My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice." "That's disgusting." "It was beautiful. You earthers have hang-ups." "Yes, Drax, I got a penis." "Thank you." "And it's not half bad."
"Death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet." "I'm immortal?" "Mmhmm." "Really?" "Yes. As long as the light exists." "Like, I could use the light to build cool things, like how you made this whole planet?" "Well, it might take a few million years of practice before you get really good at it, but yes." "Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear..." "Whatever you want." "I'm gonna make some weird shit."
"What's that?" "It's a Zune; everybody on Earth listens to it nowadays. It has over three hundred songs on it." "Three hundred? Here, Rocket grabbed the pieces and reassembled it. I think Yondu would want you to have it." "Thanks Captain."
"You put your turd in my bed, I shave you!" "It won't be my turd. It'll be one of Drax's." "Haha! Yes! I have famously huge turds!" "Can we put the bickering on hold until we survive this massive space battle?"
"The metal's to thick! For the bomb to work, we'll need to place it on Ego's core. And our fat butts aren't going to fit in those tiny holes!" "Well..." "That's a terrible idea." "Which is the only kind of idea we have left." "Unbelevable. "Rocket, do this, Rocket do that"." "What a day."
"Hey, your making him nervous!" "Shut up and give me some tape! Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button." "I don't have any tape, let me check! Yo Yondu, do you have any tape? Gamora, do you have any tape? Hey, ahh, never mind! Drax, do you have any tape? Yeah, Scotch Tape would work! Then why would you ask me if scotch tape would work if you didn't have any? Nobody has any tape!" "Not a single person has tape?!" "Nope!" "Did you ask Nebula?" "...Yes!" "Are you sure?" "Well I asked Yondu and she was sitting right next to him!" "I knew you were lying! You have priceless batteries and an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!" "That's exactly the point! I have to do everything!" "You are wasting a lot of time here!" "We're all gonna die..."
"You said you loved my mother." "And that I did. My river lily who knew all the words to every song that came over the radio. I returned to Earth to see her three times. And I knew if I returned a fourth, well, I'd... I'd never leave. The Expansion... the reason for my very existence would be over. So, I did what I had to do. But... it broke my heart to put that tumour in her head." "What?" "Now, now, all right, I know that sounds bad... Who... in the hell... do you think you are?" "You killed my mother!" "I tried so hard to find the form... that best suited you... and this is the thanks I get? You really need to grow up. I wanted to do this together... but I suppose you'll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a battery!"
"So I guess this could all be mine someday." "Rocket? Rocket, you there? Dammit. What are you doing, Peter?" "Dance with me." "No. I’m not..." "Come on. This is Sam Cooke, one of the greatest Earth singers of all time. Drax thinks you’re not a dancer." "If you ever tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you." "When are we going to do something about this...unspoken thing between us?" "What unspoken thing?" "This Cheers-Sam-and-Diane-guy-andgirl-on-a-TV-show-who-dig-eachother-but-never-say-it-’cause-whenthey-do-the-ratings-would-go-down sort of thing?" "There is no unspoken thing between us." "Well, that’s a Catch-22. Because if you said there was, it would be spoken, and then you’d be a liar. So by saying there isn’t, you’re telling the truth, and admitting there is." "That’s not...What we should be discussing right now is that something about this place doesn’t feel right." "What are you talking about? You were the one who wanted me to come here!" "That girl, Mantis. She’s afraid of something." "Why are you trying to take this from me?" "I’m not..." "He’s my father. He’s blood..." "You have blood on earth. You never wanted to return there." "Again, you made me come here! And Earth?! Earth is the place my mother died in front of me." "No, it’s because that’s real, and this is a fantasy." "This is real. I’m only half human, remember?" "That’s the half I’m worried about." "Oh, I get it. You’re jealous because I’m part god! You like me being the weak one!" "Uh. You were insufferable to begin with. I haven’t been able to reach Rocket. I’m going to see if I can get a signal outside." "You know, this isn’t Cheers after all. It’s whatever the show is where one person is willing to, you know, open themselves up to new possibilities, and the other person is just kind of a jerk who doesn’t trust anyone! It’s a show that doesn’t exist - it would never be made, it would be so horrible! It would get zero ratings!" "You’re having a conversation with yourself! I don’t know what Cheers is!" "I finally found my family, don’t you understand that!?" "I thought you already had." "So this is how it ends, then? Our whole story. Like this? You and me?" "Get it through your head, Peter. There is no you and me. There never was."
"Out of the way, dumber, smaller Groot!" "I told you something didn’t feel right!" "‘I told you so.’ That’s really what I need right now." "I came back, didn’t I?" "Because there’s an unspoken thing." "There is no unspoken thing." "What are you doing? You could have killed us all crashing in here like that!" "Uh, ‘Thank you, Rocket’?" "We had it under control." "We did not. That is only an extension of his true self. He will be back soon." "What’s Smurfette doing here!?" "Back rubs, dishes, killing gods, whatever I need to do to get a damn ride home." "She tried to murder me!" "I saved you, you stupid fox." "He’s not a fox." "I am Groot." "I’m not a raboon either!" "I am Groot." "‘Raccoon,’ whatever!" "How do we kill a Celestial?" "There’s the centre to him - his brain, his soul, whatever it is, in some sort of shell..." "It’s in the caverns below the surface." "Yondu?" "If he’s got that fin back, I am so screwed."
"Every citizen is born exactly as designed by the community, impeccable, both physically and mentally. We control the DNA of our progeny, germinating them in birthing pods." "I guess I prefer making people the old-fashioned way." "Well... perhaps someday you could give me a history lesson in the archaic ways of our ancestors... for academic purposes." "Yeah, I mean, if it’s for research that could be pretty...pretty repulsive. I’m not into that kind of casual..." "Oh, please. Your people promised something in trade for our services. Bring it and we shall gladly be on our way." "Family reunion. Yaaaay." "I understand she is your sister?" "She’s worth no more to me than the bounty due for her on Xandar." "Our soldiers apprehended her attempting to steal the batteries. Do with her as you please." "Thank you, High Priestess Ayesha." "What is your heritage, Mr. Quill?" "My mother is from Earth." "And your father?" "He’s... not from Missouri, that’s all I know." "I see it within you, an unorthodox genealogy. A hybrid that seems particularly... reckless."
"The hand means stop." "The Reality Stone. Now." "I told you, I sold it. Why would I lie?" "I imagine it’s like breathing for you." "Like suicide." "So you do understand. Not even you would surrender something so precious." "I didn’t know what it was." "Then you’re more of a fool than I took you for." "It’s him." "Last chance charlatan. Where’s the stone?" "Today, he pays for the deaths of my wife and daughter." "Wait, wait, wait. Drax, wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa, not yet! Not yet! Drax!" "Drax!"
"Alright, let me ask you this one time. What Master do you serve?" "What Master do I serve? What am I supposed to say, Jesus?" "Wait, are you from Earth?" "No, I’m from Missouri!" "Yeah, that’s on Earth, dipshit!"
"We gotta collesque. Because if all we come out is with a plucky attitude..." "Dude, don’t call us plucky. We don’t know what it means. We’re more optimistic, yes. I like your plan. Except, it sucks. So let me do the plan and that way it might be really good." "Tell him about the dance-off to save the Universe." "What dance-off?" "It’s not a thing." "Like in Footloose, the movie?" "Exactly like Footloose! Is it still the greatest movie in history?" "It never was." "Don’t encourage Flash Gordon." "Flash Gordon? That’s a compliment. Don’t forget, I’m half human. So that 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% you."
"I thought you'd be harder to catch. For the record, this was my plan. Not so strong now, huh? Where's Gamora?" "My Gamora!" "Oh, bullshit! Where is she?" "He is in anguish." "Good." "He... He mourns." "What does this monster have to mourn?" "Gamora..." "What?" "He took her to Vormir. He came back with the Soul Stone. She didn't." "Okay, Quill? You gotta cool it right now, understand? Don't. Don't engage. We almost got this off!" "Tell me she's lying. Asshole! Tell me you didn't do it." "I had to..." "No you didn't. No! No, you didn't!"