"There are two types of beings in the universe. Those who dance, and those who do not." "I get it, yes. I'm a dancer, Gamora is not." "You just need to find a woman who is pathetic, like you." "Thanks, buddy."
"Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button." "Nobody has any tape!" "Not a single person has tape?! "You have an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!" "I have to do everything!"
"Show time, a-holes! it will be here any minute." "And it will be its last." "I thought your thing was a sword?" "We've been hired to stop an inter-dimensional beast from feeding on those batteries and I'm going to stop it with a sword?" "It's just... swords were your thing and guns were mine, but... I guess we're both doing guns now. I just didn't know that." "Drax, why aren't you wearing one of Rocket'sAero-Rigs?" "It hurts." "Hurts?" "I have sensitive nipples." "Wa-ha-ha-ha! My nipples hurt! Oh, goodness me!" "What about him, what's he doing?" "I'm finishing this so we can listen to tunes while we work." "How is that important?" "Blame Quill, he's the one who loves music so much!" "No, I actually agree with Drax on this, that's hardly important right now." "Oh, ok, sure Quill" "No, seriously, I side with Drax." "I understand that, your being very serious right now." "I can clearly see you winking!" "Dam, I'm using my left eye?" "I am Groot." "They were not looking at you funny. Oh, well that's intense." "Groot!" "Groot, get out of the way your going to get hurt! Oh, hi!" "No, no! Spit it out! Come on! That's disgusting!" "The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside! I must cut through it from the inside." "What? No, Drax! Drax!" "What's he doing?!" "He said that the skin is to thick to be pierced on the outside so..." "That doesn't make any sense!" "I tried telling him that!" "Skin has the same level of thickness on the inside as it is on the outside!" "I realize that!" "There's a cut on its neck! Rocket, get it to look up!". "Alright, you giant sea monkey, up here! Whoa, watch it Quill!" "Yes! I have single-handily vanquished the beast! What?"
"I created what I imagined biological life to be like. Down to the most minute detail. " "Did you make a penis?" "Dude!" "What is wrong with you?" "If he's a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her." "I don't need to hear how my parents..." "Why? My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice." "That's disgusting." "It was beautiful. You earthers have hang-ups." "Yes, Drax, I got a penis." "Thank you." "And it's not half bad."
"Death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet." "I'm immortal?" "Mmhmm." "Really?" "Yes. As long as the light exists." "Like, I could use the light to build cool things, like how you made this whole planet?" "Well, it might take a few million years of practice before you get really good at it, but yes." "Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear..." "Whatever you want." "I'm gonna make some weird shit."
"What's that?" "It's a Zune; everybody on Earth listens to it nowadays. It has over three hundred songs on it." "Three hundred? Here, Rocket grabbed the pieces and reassembled it. I think Yondu would want you to have it." "Thanks Captain."
"You put your turd in my bed, I shave you!" "It won't be my turd. It'll be one of Drax's." "Haha! Yes! I have famously huge turds!" "Can we put the bickering on hold until we survive this massive space battle?"
"The metal's to thick! For the bomb to work, we'll need to place it on Ego's core. And our fat butts aren't going to fit in those tiny holes!" "Well..." "That's a terrible idea." "Which is the only kind of idea we have left." "Unbelevable. "Rocket, do this, Rocket do that"." "What a day."
"Hey, your making him nervous!" "Shut up and give me some tape! Does anyone got any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button." "I don't have any tape, let me check! Yo Yondu, do you have any tape? Gamora, do you have any tape? Hey, ahh, never mind! Drax, do you have any tape? Yeah, Scotch Tape would work! Then why would you ask me if scotch tape would work if you didn't have any? Nobody has any tape!" "Not a single person has tape?!" "Nope!" "Did you ask Nebula?" "...Yes!" "Are you sure?" "Well I asked Yondu and she was sitting right next to him!" "I knew you were lying! You have priceless batteries and an Atomic Bomb in your bag. If anyone's gonna have tape, it's you!" "That's exactly the point! I have to do everything!" "You are wasting a lot of time here!" "We're all gonna die..."
"You said you loved my mother." "And that I did. My river lily who knew all the words to every song that came over the radio. I returned to Earth to see her three times. And I knew if I returned a fourth, well, I'd... I'd never leave. The Expansion... the reason for my very existence would be over. So, I did what I had to do. But... it broke my heart to put that tumour in her head." "What?" "Now, now, all right, I know that sounds bad... Who... in the hell... do you think you are?" "You killed my mother!" "I tried so hard to find the form... that best suited you... and this is the thanks I get? You really need to grow up. I wanted to do this together... but I suppose you'll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a battery!"